Death clicks his BALL POINT SCYTHE and jots down a few notes in his TOME OF WAYFARING SOULS.

Firstly a fire was started in #mspa-misc, we called the firefighters and they did what they could but they weren't fast enough and the fire spread to other channels in the mspa category, it took the #hiveswap carrot in the process.

Upon noticing there was a baby in #homestuck we had to urgently call for Tobey Maguire to save it. He swung into action saving the baby and dropping it in #general-🐴 while the firefighters fought the fire. Eventually the fire in the mspa category was put out and Tobey placed the baby in #mspa-misc.

#mspa-misc didn't have any interest in taking care of the baby which belonged to #homestuck but luckily a mysterious golfer came to help and they sent it flying to #☘️lililypad-zone (formerly #reader-observervation-containment-channel), which was not the right channel so the golfer walked there, stealing the newly earned pickle from #hiveswap but giving it back after negative feedback for doing that.

A banana peel trap for the golfer was set up in #mspa-misc which the golfer immediately fell for and slipped all the way up to #hs-animated and the horse from #general, Jill Stein, went to their rescue but while that was happening... The baby that got left in the #☘️lililypad-zone was doubling in age every second, by the time Jill and the golfer got there it was already dead. A funeral was held for the former baby and Jill returned to #general-🐴 and the golfer returned to play in #mspa-misc.

And that could have been where it ended, but time kept passing, the 🌹 that was left for the baby's funeral turned into a 🥀 showing the passage of time.

The golfer went back to the #☘️lililypad-zone where the body was buried along with an oil drum as he saw an opportunity for business and started running tests until he figured it out and became rich off of selling the oil to none other than Obama, who was currently residing in #mspa-misc with his newly-bought oil to serve his nation, apparently he was the president of #mspa-misc.

Since this was such a great deal he took a plane to #☘️lililypad-zone to discuss further business with the man he bought the oil from, suddenly it was revealed that homestuck-topics had two towers in it, but it was ok he got off at #☘️lililypad-zone.

Obama and the oil magnate struck a deal where they would work in a new project and then started discussing it, Obama presented his oil drum and the oil magnate his dog and then merged them together to make the one and only oil dog.

The two men took a trip to #classpecting to celebrate their new invention, at this moment it's revealed that Obama had a ring, it's unclear if he intended to propose marriage to the oil magnate or if he simply... had it. But what ultimately matters is that the oil dog stole it and put it on transforming into Oil Dog Noir (or whatever you wanna call it), it immediately destroyed the two towers from homestuck-topics and started spreading red miles to the surrounding channels. Obama and the magnate fled to #mspa-misc to buy time while they pulled off their escape plan.

Obama and the man now revealed to be Trump successfully entered a Sburb session escaping from the miles, or at least buying themselves enough time to not be immediately killed.

Their Sburb session took place under the general category, #general-🐴 became the #land-of-discord-and-oil-🐴, #gen-2🐈 was Prospit, their second planet wasn't seen nor was Derse.

Having entered their session #☘️lililypad-zone did what they could to hold back the Oil Dog and threw all their soldiers at it, unsuccessfully but it was enough time for Obama, the Prospit dreamer, to get the ring from the White Queen. Trump meanwhile worked on making progress at the #land-of-discord-and-oil-🐴. Then, at the #☘️lililypad-zone the Oil Dog entered the door onto the new universe, since it's the door lilypad of course; this landed it in #new-reader-fanart where it continued to spread red miles, dangerously close to Trump and Obama's session. Nearby at #rerelease-new-readers the new readers prepared to help with the fight.

Over at the general category Obama god tiered in his aspect slab and Trump in a quest bed in the #land-of-discord-and-oil due to red miles, Obama went back to that planet with his ring which they used to power-up Jill Stein the horse. In #gen-2🐈 Football the cat tried to fight with the Oil Dog but she was no match for it, however the Aradia Cult mostly operating in the #land-of-discord-and-oil had successfully summoned Aradia to help, she stopped the Oil Dog, eventually both of them escaped and the Oil Dog continued its chase.

Aradia and Football absconded and hid in #hiveswap where Football stole the pickle and they multiplied themselves via doomed timeline clones. The #rumpus-room clown fled its channel and met with the powered-up Jill Stein who was wearing the WQ's ring and now matched Oil Dog's power. Obama picked up some socks and Trump picked up some milk that were left at the #rerelease-new-readers channel. Everyone united there, where they were supported by the newgens, the supporters at #land-of-discord-and-oil and the Aradia Cult, the general category is engulfed in red miles too now.

Obama and Trump quickly went down, the newgens tried everything they could to help Jill Stein seeing the danger of the situation, they were able to give her and her clown a set of shields to protect from the Oil Dog's attacks, a polar bear tried something somewhere in there earlier. Either way regardless of what they tried the Oil Dog survived, and Jill Stein, as well as her clown, fell, but the Oil Dog was hurt so maybe they had a chance.

They tried summoning Andrew Hussie which tried to reason with the Oil Dog, didn't last long. They tried a powered-up mpreg nuke genki-dama style, this hurt the dog greatly but wasn't enough. They summoned Vriska in the #land-of-discord-and-oil but she died to the red miles. Spider-Man appeared in #rerelease-new-readers and he started to assess the situation that just took place there. When all hope seemed lost Aradia returned to #gen-2, many of them, but the Oil Dog was there too, thus all but one Aradia & Football combo fell and she had to flee again... But this time the last Football was terribly hurt, her pickle was also destroyed by the Oil Dog.

For a while Aradia was nowhere to be seen, all that remained in every channel was the Oil Dog, its red miles, and...

Spider-Man!

Spider-Man swung into action, giving members hope, they thought he would be what would finally beat Oil Dog in a fight, but instead, he talked.

The Oil Dog remembered who Spider-Man was and it reminisced of the good ol' days when Spider-Man saved it when it was a baby in #homestuck, it remembered everything that happened and how Spider-Man was a hero to it, this made the dog very emotional and it started crying, then it made the decision to take off the ring and cast it into the volcano.

Oil Dog Noir was defeated.

In what little remained of the #land-of-discord-and-oil Aradia took Football to the quest bed and she god tiered after #gen-2ers thought she'd be gone forever, but with her last dying breath she was able to ascend dying to the last red miles.

Aradia, Football, Oil Dog, and Spider-Man got together to throw a party and celebrate with the server members before returning to where they were needed. Aradia is back at the dream bubbles, Spider-Man returned to his planet, the Oil Dog now peacefully resides in #🛢🐶☘️lililypad-zone and Football stayed in #gen-2🐈 where if you missed the whole event you would think nothing had happened, but Football is a god tier now.

The oil at the #land-of-discord-and-oil was consumed by the users turning it into #land-of-discord-and until it was renamed to #land-of-discord-and-general-🪖.

Now Jill Stein and the unnamed #rumpus-room clown are dead.